That's Not My Name

I had an unexpected awkward moment as we filled out the lease for our townhome.

Name: no problem.
Social Security Number: check.
Occupation: Hmmm.

Seriously, I felt like Derek Zoolander, looking at the stars and asking, ”Who am I?” (Too obscure of a reference?) When I was in elementary school, kids would ask what my mom did, and I always said, “Homemaker.” That has a nice ring to it. Certainly better than “housewife.” Ugh. “Yes, I’m his wife; when he’s in the house at least.”

But the real work is in caring for the child, so it should be stay-at-home-mom or some other mouthful of a title. Residential mother? Owen’s caretaker? I could be really obnoxious and list a bunch of titles: “housekeeper-breastfeeder-photographer-butt wiper-lullaby singer-baby food maker-hand holder-clothes washer-locomotion trainer…” There’s more, of course, but I have to stop before I become overwhelmed and need to go do something productive. And how do you put a name to all of the other little things? Like how my huge Swedish chin is apparently the perfect teething ring? Shouldn’t that be recognized in my occupation? Or do I just write “None?” No, that can’t be it.

I should have quoted Proverbs: “She watches over the affairs of her household.” Or borrowed from Wordsworth, “She was a woman of a stirring life, whose heart was in her house.” I think I just put “homemaker.”

The next box on the lease application was Salary. I told Zach I would put, “With what currency should I measure love?” But really, how am I repaid? What is the retribution for the “menial” and nearly unnoticeable tasks I complete every single day? For the sometimes demeaning and frustrating moments of the day? Could it be the building of my son’s trust and affection? The surety and confidence that he is being cared for to the very best of my ability must carry some weight. I get to be there for almost every moment of his life and watch him grow and change. I try to keep a clean, pleasant home for my husband and make sure he's well-fed. And my gosh, I'm so happy and blessed. So, you tell me to what that equates. As for the lease form, I just put a dash.